Lying on my bed, the street light filling up my entire room with a faint golden glow, I am staring at my ceiling fan and wondering if the fan is rotating in the clockwise direction or anticlockwise direction. It’s 1 am now. It was 9 pm, when I returned home and the bed looked so tempting that I was willing to skip dinner and jump on to it for the peaceful night sleep. But the temptation of the chinese food that I was holding in my hand was too much to resist. Chinese food is like the cute guy you occasionally bump into, on the streets and cannot resist shamelessly staring at him until he goes out of your sight. So I promised myself I would go to bed as soon as I was done with the dinner and I did. By 11 pm, I turned off the lights and came to bed.
Bedtime, the delusional time of the day when your body feels tired enough to sleep, yet when you do try to sleep, you are wide awake thinking, thinking random things such as the direction of rotation of your ceiling fan. No, I am not a victim of insomnia, I do eventually drift off to sleep. Eventually usually means 3 in the morning, which is kind of big deal when you have to get up at 7 in the morning. Unable to figure out the direction, I sigh and give up and turn to the other side of the bed and try to sleep. So I try out every single position on the bed, trying out each position for a while and then switching on to the next after sometime. It reminds me of the articles that I have read in cosmopolitan magazine ’10 hot positions to try out for better sex’. I could simply rewrite it as ’10 different positions for better sleep’.
No matter how hard I try to sleep(even counting sheeps backwards doesn’t help), some or the other random thoughts keeps dropping in. These thoughts are vicious, like the guys who play hard to get. They would drop in, trigger you and then leave, without any warning. They are mostly the fucked-up-what-ifs, the dramatic-maybes and the vicious-loopholes-of-the-tomorrows. But among all these thoughts there will always be that one particular thought which will find its way into to your streamline of thoughts, that embarrassingly-awkward-thing-you-did-last-summer thought. They are like the creepy pervert stalkers who try to hit on you, wherever you go or whatever you are trying to do and you try to run away from them the moment you recognize them.
But after continuously battling with the thoughts, there comes a point, when you know you have found the right thought, like the Mr. Right,and you know that this is the one you were destined to make you drift off to sleep. So when you finally start drifting off, you experience the same magical feeling that you get when you figure out that the guy you like also likes you back in the same way. The next thing you know, is that you are in a relationship with sleep, peaceful, like love. But as usual, the alarm wakes you up, making you realize that the bliss of the relationship was too good to be true. The morning strikes you hard like the agony of a breakup. This sums up the story of my bedtime, which happens, pretty much every other night.